How you clean your records may say a lot about who you are. From the record dealer who scrubs the vinyl with his old underpants and yesterday’s dishwater, you might not get any advice. From the collector spending £4000 on a state of the science spinner, you could get a report from a different league. The aim of the exercise is roughly the same though - to discover and remove as many obstacles to sonic satisfaction as is possible on a particular budget. Dust, dirt, mould, grime, paint, slime, someone else’s cleaning product. All of these and more are agents of distortion. Between the extremes of cleaning are many methods. Possibly the most common, often recommended before playing each record, is an anti-static record cleaning brush. Probably a good idea to remove dust if used correctly, although some people would advise against them - catch a youtube video if you think you are likely to scratch your records with the plastic handle. Anyone researching how to clean records, will find many opinions about what not to do. While toothbrushes can work on 78s, they will definitely ruin vinyl records. Back to shellac some other day.
Before the first brush with a newly acquired record, it will either be new and probably sealed or used in ways that affect the appearance and hearing experience. Assuming new and sealed means never played, buyers are likely to be disappointed if the opening sounds are occasionally tarnished by crackles and pops. If it’s not a bad pressing, it could be factory dust or a worker’s dry skin, in which case cleaning a new record can improve it. More about new records another time. The condition of a used record arcs the spectrum from impeccable care, sometimes for several decades, to evidence of abuse on many levels. Although this may create problems for a new owner, it may also mean that the record gave a lot of pleasure to a previous owner. And records unlike people don’t have feelings. An abused record may need special attention or possibly discarding in as friendly a way as possible
The term secondhand, though handy, is not very specific or necessarily honest about the number of mitts that have fingered the vinyl surface. More troubling is the term pre-loved. Google research suggests that it applies to a record that was previously loved by an owner who took good care of it, although it could also mean the opposite – in other words, the pre-loved record that is second, third or ninth-hand sounds like it’s waiting to be loved after being unloved by a previous owner. In this sense pre-loved would be a state of going round unloved, previous to being loved. Whatever it means, it sounds like it’s stuck in a state of emotional nothingness until purchased. Hmmmmm. Bach to classical ways of cleaning, and the most obvious, before the brush goes through the grooves. Water.
Assuming the collector, hoarder, or occasional buyer of records doesn’t acquire an expensive cleaning machine or any sort of cheaper electronic or mechanical device, the most common method is arguably to wipe the vinyl with water. Tap water or distilled water? Washing-up liquid or specialist record cleaning solution. Old underpants or microfibre cloth?
